View source for Russian jokes/Putin

:Putin's propagandists on TV said nuclear war is fine because patriotic Russians will go to Heaven. Heaven heard it and immediately applied to join NATO!


[[File:Keep-moscow.jpeg|thumb|right]]

:Putin dies and goes to hell. After a while, he's given a day off.
:So he goes to a Moscow bar, orders a drink and asks the bartender:
:Is Crimea ours?
:Yes.
:And the Donbas?
:Also ours.
:Kyiv?
:We got that too.
:Satisfied, he drinks and asks:
:Thanks. How much do I owe you?
:5 euros.


A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling “The president is an idiot “

Police surround him and handcuff him. They say, “It is illegal to insult President Putin.”

He says, “You don’t understand I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky, he is the one I was insulting. “

The police captain says, “You can’t fool us, everyone knows who the idiot is.”


[[File:Putin-pigs.png|300px]]

:Putin visits a new pig farm inaugurated in occupied Crimea. Ria Novosti journalists discuss what text to place under the photo of this visit:

:– Maybe “President Putin among the pigs”?

:– Or “Pigs around President Putin”?

:After long discussions, the photo is published, with the following text: “Third from the right, Putin”

[[fr:Catégorie:Blagues russes/Poutine]]
[[ru:Анекдоты/Путин]]